I was married 24 years ago to someone 7 years older than me. When we got married he drank alot. He has always been violent, impulsive and crude but I didn't pay attention. I was in love with him and didn't want to lose him. He insulted me, telling me that I was stupid and I have excriment in my head in place of a brain. Excuse me for saying it like this, but it hurt me very much and it didn't matter to him. After two years of marriage our first child was born. He was very bad with the child including hollering at him and hating him. He did many ugly things, that I cannot speak about. Two years later our second child was born. I don't know if it was because it was a girl, but he was good with her. Seven years later, the baby of the family was born. He was also very good with him. He never allowed me to interfere when he hit them or scolded them.
If I did try to interfere, he beat me alot, which he still does to this day . He has hurt them very much. The oldest child is very shy and very unsure of himself. Our second child has started to drink alot. He has kicked her out of the house several times, but she always confronts him. The youngest child screams and cries alot and is very scared at every time that we fight. We all have hatred and disappointed feelings toward him. We don't love him anymore.
About six or seven years ago, I started telling him that I didn't like the way he treated us and that I was tired, but he said that we have never lacked anything, that we had everything, a house, food, a car, but I told him that we are lacking the most important thing, love and respect. Finally there are many things that I would like to tell in order to free myself from the anger, cowardness, and other feelings that I have because they are not good for me or my family, but above all, I now see that I have what I never wanted, a family like that of my parents; that it is not true that one must put up with for your children. My little ones are very damaged. They are very violent and have addictions, low self esteem, and they feel inferior to everyone and don't have friends. All of this because they have a father and grew up with his bad example. He has not been good for them.